Today is the nth day since I last saw you, and no matter how much emotional pain you caused me, today has been by far the hardest to overcome. I kept myself busy as much as possible to try and to keep from contacting you. I thought moving into my new place would help me move on from you as well. I was wrong. Never have I felt more depressed. I still think of you everyday. I know you're going through a tough time, in need of deep focus. I want to see you, talk to you, and be the only one at your side as I promised I would be. But even your friends warned me against letting you in again. They know you are stubborn and unclear of what you really want. I hope that you end up well. I just want to let you know that you will always be in my heart. Thank you for the memories, for everything. 

He looked straight into my eyes, 

“Why did you lie to me?”

I bowed my head and used my hair as a shield. I’m too mortified.

“… I’m sorry”

“Hey, look at me. Look at me. No, stop covering your face. Alright, tell me… why?”

I looked at him, the look of weariness drawn all over his face.

“Because…”

“Because of what?”

This is bad. I took a deep breath.

“Because I’m afraid that if I told you the truth, you’d run away… just like everyone did.”

Great. There it is. No. Don’t you dare cry in front of him! Oh good Lord.

“Wha—“

I cut him off to explain myself further.

“You don’t understand. Whenever I try to open myself, when I try to let people in, I always end up getting hurt.”

I looked down to hide my tears

… dead silence

This is the end of it all. Tomorrow I will start fresh, forget this ever hap---

“I may not understand the way you view things but think about this. It has been eight months, did I give up?”

I stared at him. It has been eight months? Already? Wow. I lost track.

“Do you see how persistent I am in spite of the countless times you blew me off? I never stopped. I may not be too vocal about what I feel about you but I always make sure you feel every single bit of it.

Telling me the truth will not change what I feel for you. And you know me, I’m a reclusive person, I don’t give a damn about what other people are saying.

You’re an amazing person, don’t let people tell you otherwise. What I see is what I believe in and all I can see is a beautiful girl staring right through my soul.”

I smiled.

“You’re like a nun encased in her shell, refusing to crack.”

We both laughed.

“Why don’t you just give up?” I asked.

“’Cause I have hope for the future… and my hope is that you stop being inhibited.”

“I hate you.”

“You know I’m right”

Errr! He’s too good. I have to get out of here. “Whatever!”

“Someday you’ll see things my way. Someday.” 

I’m getting quite scared

Scared because it looks like I’m falling in love with you

But I don’t think you care 

For you have no fucking clue about how I feel

I truly have no intention of giving my heart to somebody new

I’ve been there before

And it’s my heart he broke into million pieces

Can somebody help me stop

From falling for this man

I don’t want to have to go through love again

Because it always hurts

I find it hard to look away

When you say the things you say

I try to be so cold 

But you melted the chill away

I’m afraid to give my heart to you

Because I’m terrified of what will happen

And the things that you’ll do

I’m fighting so fucking hard

To keep the feeling inside

But I don’t think I can

I wanna hold your hand 

I’m honestly afraid of the outcome

‘Cause I always end up getting hurt

It was the cold January wind that blew you into my life

When I first saw you,

It never crossed my mind that you would be this significant

I always thought that this is just some sort of a fling just like in the past

Soon enough, I felt that connection and I knew you felt it too

But I had not yet explored the possibility of things turning romantic or physical

I remember that cold January night

We were crossing the road

I was scared and you knew it

You reached for my hand

Held it tightly in yours

Made me feel protected

Something shot through me that felt like a bolt of electricity

I actually shook

Neither of us could say a thing

But the look on your face, to me, it meant everything

I can’t help repeating what happened that night over and over

Your stare is bursting with static

Your touch is so electric

And the way you make me feel is eccentric
Such a foreign feeling

I wished for someone just like you

Please prove to me that this is true
Show me that the spark I feel I knew is real

‘Coz you make me feel alive

You got me electrified